Those that have had the courage to follow my words of thought and belief over the years have witnessed, from time to time, a slight meandering into the exposure of my spiritual beliefs. My self-prophesied mission is not only having my beliefs, but also by living them, “Just For Today,” with continuation again tomorrow.

As we scurry through the holiday season with joy and giving, we should not forget the gift of the highest value. A present that is so valuable, there can be no monetary price attached to it. This is the offering of forgiveness.

We are humans and we often make mistakes. Knowing that our human choices and mistakes will not cost us love and acceptance is a huge builder of trust and safety. We have to be on a truthful path to our destiny. One of the grandest things that we can do is to forgive someone. Forgiveness sets us free and removes the boiling, festering black wad that can sit at the base of our spine, corrupting the person we are meant to be.

Forgiveness means letting go of the anger, resentment and the blaming that we feel concerning some action that has had an impact on us. Forgiveness does not change what happened, but it does change our way of relating to what happened. Forgiveness does not require reconciliation, although reconciliation does require forgiveness.

The birth of the word, “forgive” comes from Old English. “For” means “completely” and “give” which means “to give, grant or allow.” So to “forgive” is to give completely.

The Spanish word “perdón” has the same etymological meaning even though its source is Latin. “Per” is an intensifier meaning completely and “don” has the same source as our English word donation. So in Spanish also it means, “to give completely.”

Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing the harm done to you. It also doesn’t necessarily mean making up with the person who caused the harm. Forgiveness brings peace that will allow you to focus upon yourself. Forgiveness can help you go on with your life.

To completely forgive must be done on three levels. First you must forgive yourself, then forgive the other person and also you must forgive the situation.

Consider how judgmental and unforgiving we can be with ourselves. As we acknowledge our pain and recognize that we feel wronged, we can begin to acknowledge all the bitterness and anger that we feel in relation to that. At this point we can begin to bring awareness to all of our resentment, to take its measure, without judging ourselves for feeling what we feel. This is how we begin to forgive.

Self-forgiveness can be found somewhere beyond our thinking, beyond our feelings and beyond our small selves. This is where all forgiveness comes from, not just self-forgiveness. We accept forgiveness for ourselves and offer it to others through our mysterious connection with something greater than ourselves. We find self-forgiveness in the same place that we find forgiveness for others. That’s the only place that it can be found.

Holding on to negative events increases your stress level and generally lowers your enjoyment of life. It results in feeling resentful, angry and upset. It’s important that you learn to adapt, correct your errors and grow from negative events. A key component to being able to do this is to be able to forgive yourself for any mistakes or wrongdoings you may have done.

Forgiveness is understood as a way to end suffering, to bring dignity and harmony into our lives. Forgiveness is fundamentally for our own sake and for our own mental health. It is a way to let go of the pain we carry.

Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. It demands courage and integrity. Forgiveness can bring about the peace we long for. When we practice forgiveness individually, we start by recognizing that we have all betrayed and hurt others, just as we have knowingly, or unknowingly, been harmed.

To forgive does not mean that we condone the misdeeds of others. We can dedicate ourselves to making sure they never happen again. Without forgiveness, the world can never be released from the sorrows of the past. Forgiveness is a way to move on.

Forgiving the situation is letting go. It’s not thinking about or being angry about something that happened in the past. Letting go involves being aware of a feeling, letting it come up, staying with it and allowing it to run its course. You can’t focus on how the situation has played out, who has hurt you or why the incident happened.

Without forgiveness, we individually remain caught and chained to the hurt and pain of our history. Collectively, humanity needs to learn forgiveness to end the cycles of retribution and violence, and start anew.

Forgiveness is fundamentally for our own sake, for our own mental health. It is a way to let go of the pain we carry. Forgiveness sees wisely. It acknowledges what is unjust, harmful and wrong and understands the conditions that brought them about. When we forgive we can vow that we will never allow these things to happen again. We can also resolve to release the past and not carry bitterness and hate in our hearts.

Forgive the people in your life, even the ones that have no remorse for their actions. Holding onto anger is feeding that black wad and in the end will only hurt you. Forgiveness cannot be something that you do occasionally. Forgiveness has to be something important in your life and a way of constantly being. - dbA

You can find more of the unfiltered insight and the Art of Dan Abernathy at www.contributechaos.com.