As I have opened my mind and tried with all aspects to keep it open, free, expanding and void of judgment and comparison, I keep thought a natural aspect of myself. The energy and presence of who you are is revealed to the public first. This is your true suchness.

“Suchness” is a Buddhist term referring to reality free from conceptual elaborations and the subject of distinction. A nameless and characterless reality of being such without any apparent regard to your environment.

Though what is seen is filtered through the influences of the viewer’s swaying beliefs. This suchness needs to be reformed to remove body shame. There should be no painful feeling of disgrace with the body, yours or someone else’s.

Body shame is something learned from other people and benefits no one. The only thing repulsive or wretchedly bad about the human body are the small minds so many have transferred into use. The source of these small minds originates from another prejudice and bigoted small minds.

In 1901, Eleanor Roosevelt spoke with one of her most notable quotes, “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events and small minds discuss people.”

Because of the circumstances they are in, small minds like to gossip. With their own lives seemingly boring with little content, they talk about others for entertainment and to bring the other person down to their level of negative repugnance.

Small-minded people cannot soar in the clouds of infinite possibilities. They have a fear of individualism. Their unnoticed intent is to keep those around them bogged down in the quagmire of an unfavorable formed thought. This way of being will always be considered a collectively damaging detriment.

Gossip is a poison that shows poor restraint and a lack of consideration for others’ feelings. By airing other people’s dirty laundry to unrelated parties, you are subjecting them to humiliation and scorn.

If you have ill will toward someone, perhaps you should talk with them. Perhaps a solution or compromise can be found, even if the solution or compromise is avoidance of each other. Simply gossiping with others demonstrates the unwillingness to resolve negative situations.

Gossiping also makes you untrustworthy and gives the appearance that you do not value others’ confidences. When what flows in your ear is regurgitated straight out of your mouth, you lose trust. Losing the reliance of honest integrity will also be an obstacle in securing healthy relationships with the people around you.

There is a Buddhist quote about the five factors that reads, “It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken with a mind of goodwill.”

Influenced by these five factors, the late radio host, Bernard Meltzer, who ran an advice call-in show from 1967 through the 1990s, highlighted and became accredited with the following quote, “Before you speak, ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is necessary, is helpful. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid.”

When the hearsay of personal affairs is uttered, challenge them directly. Let them know it’s mean to do so. Ask them why they are telling you this particular fable and such words of gossip make you uncomfortable. By disengaging from the talk of other people, you demonstrate your standards of ethics. Gossiping is a toxic behavior that is unacceptable and breeds distrust and bitterness. We all slip up every now and then, but think before you speak to keep yourself genuine.

Another phase of the small-minded is being judgmental. Judging other people has nothing to do with the people who you are judging. Making judgments about other people is often out of line with the individual’s real values.

Judgmental people find comfort in a hierarchy type of rank-order. If you are better than someone, you are apart from them. You are above them, not beside them, which leaves nobody by your side. Judging is a false form of safety. If you are the “better person” in a scenario, you don’t have to reckon with potential feelings of inferiority that you might be the “worst” one.

Real strength and honored suchness is about knowing who you are, your value, and how you want to live that truth. Extending kindness does not diminish who you are, but instead makes the world that we exist in a better place to be.

When we step away from being judgmental we cannot pick up and replace it by being occupied with the dangers of comparison. Theodore Roosevelt called comparison “the thief of joy.”

Social comparison can promote biased and superior attitudes. Most people have the social skills and impulse control to keep their standards for comparison to themselves. They are able to not act on any envy or resentment spurred by comparison-making.

Some people of today, out of ease, have become so caught up in trying to blend in that they have muddled and obscured their own sound. This grouping has digressed to the point that they can no longer hear themselves at all. They have blended into the masses. They have lost their unique symphony of vibrational energy that expresses them in a solo performance of who they are.

When you receive a certain type of dishonorable and malicious statement about your value as a person, a ludicrous proclamation filled with gossip, judgment and comparison, you can control your reaction from heightening. Just look at the person’s behavior and verbal spewing recital as a reflection of their nonexistent harmonious relationship with themselves. - dbA

You can find more of the unfiltered insight and the Art of Dan Abernathy at www.contributechaos.com.